YOU MEAN I CAN STILL GET LAID AFTER I'M DEAD?

     I need to thank my bud, Dennis Cronin for this amazing story. You can't make this stuff up! So, apparently, when I pass on; my wife can still have her way with me. Better yet, she can still have her way with my ashes! That's right! Now, you can have your ashes used in a sex toy, so your partner can remember your more intimate moments together. Designer Mark Sturkenboom hopes it's fad that will catch on. I wish I was kidding!

       Sturkenboom created a memory box that includes a necklace and an amplifier for playing music that reminds you of the deceased. There's also a scent diffuser (still not sure what that is for) and a gold-plated urn. Let's be honest, though, it's the dildo containing the ashes of the owner's dearly departed, that really grabs the attention of this memory box. Sturkenboom said of his bizarre invention, "After a passing, the missing of intimacy with that person is only one aspect of the pain and grief. This forms the base for 21 Grams. The urn offers the possibility to conserve 21 grams of ashes of the deceased and displays an immortal desire." He continued, "I sometimes help an elderly lady with her groceries and she had an urn standing near the window with the remains of her husband. She always speaks with so much love about him, but the jar he was in didn't reflect that at all. In that same period, I read an article about widows, taboos and sex and intimacy and then I thought to myself, 'can I combine these themes and make an object that is about love and missing and intimacy?'"

     Um, what a weirdo, first of all. Secondly, how many women in their 80s are still even sexually active for a dildo to even be relevant? This sex toy would have to be a widow who is still relatively you and misses her husband who died at a young age. If that were the case, though; the widow might still be young enough to still find herself a young buck. Unless, she really misses her husband. I'm not sure how shoving an urn with his ashes in it into your aging vajay-jay will help fill that void, but what ever floats your boat I guess. What is Sturkenboom going to make for men who lose their wives first? A hand lotion made from the deceased wives ashes? I don't know this whole thing is crazy, but thank you Dennis for sharing this story. The memory box is called 21 Grams, if any of you are in the market, and is said to be the weight of the human soul. That's according to that weirdo Sturkenboom.